


Love of My Life

by FlyUsOutOfHere



Series: IT Songfics [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drug Abuse, F/M, M/M, No Dialogue, One Shot, Richie Tozier Has Issues, Richie Tozier-centric, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and 20/21 at the end, losers are 16/17 at the beginning, mentioned rehab, no ben hanscom sorry, richie loves eddie and stanley loves richie and richie doesn't know if he loves stanley, richie might be bipolar?, the losers are just mentioned, up to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23514721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyUsOutOfHere/pseuds/FlyUsOutOfHere
Summary: Angsty one shot from Richie's perspectiveEddie moves away junior year and Richie doesn't know how to handle it.based off of the song West Virginia by the Front Bottoms
Relationships: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Series: IT Songfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691974
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Love of My Life

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics are in italics and bold

_ **Is it raining where you are?** _

**_The only thing I could think to ask._ **

It had been two months since Eddie left. Two months, and two letters in those two months. Six phone calls. But no conversations.

**_But nothing ever hurt so bad, as the ‘no’ you said back._ **

Richie and Eddie had been the best of friends. Some, including their friends, lingered on the possibility of a more than friendly relationship.

**_But ain’t that the truth, man._ **

Richie missed Eddie. When Eddie left, Richie made him promise that no matter what, he wouldn’t forget them.

**_Those are just facts._ **

Eddie tried. Damn, he tried so hard to remember. To keep up with the phone calls and the letters. But life got in the way.

**_The farther you go from where you start, the harder it is to get back._ **

It’s fine, though. Richie is fine. It’s all fine.

**_Love of my life, gone forever_ **

Stan and Bev always tried to get Richie to talk about it. Yeah, they loved Eddie, but what he and Richie had was special.

**_Love of my life, gone for good_ **

Richie loved Eddie so fucking much. And now he’s gone. What now?

**_The good stuff comes, the good stuff goes_ **

Richie didn’t know how to feel. How to cope, how to handle, how to function. 

**_The good stuff seems so hard to hold_ **

He’s overreacting, though, right? It’s not like Eddie’s dead. He’s just. Not here.

**_Hope it slides slowly down your throat, so the taste of it may linger_ **

So when the Losers decided to go to their first party without Eddie, Richie didn’t hesitate to head straight to the alcohol. It’s fine, he’s fine, it’s a party! You drink at parties, that’s what you do!

**_Right now I’m just a volcano, on the brink of eruption_ **

And when Bev tried to get Richie to quit smoking like she had, it’s fine that Richie got pissed. Anyone would! It’s his life, why can’t his friends just let him live it?

**_Right now I’m just a psycho_ **

And when Stan kissed Richie, and Richie kissed him back, Richie didn’t know how to feel. What about Eddie? His Eddie?

**_Hell-bent on self-destruction_ **

It’s fine. Richie had never thought of Stan that way, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s okay for him to move on, but Richie sure didn’t think it was fine. 

**_I wish I may, I wish I might_ **

Richie wishes he could go back to the summer of 89. Yeah, they all almost died, but Eddie was there. He was there, and Richie was happy. 

**_One day live like a person in paradise_ **

And when six months passed, and Richie tried to call Eddie, all he got was voicemail. He tried and tried and tried again.

**_Right now I’m just a volcano, on the brink of eruption_ **

And when Stan tells him to chill, it’s okay, Eddie will come him back, Richie gets mad. He yells a little, and cries a lot. But it’s okay, he’s fine.

**_Right now I’m just a psycho_ **

Richie doesn’t know what’s happening. Why everything is moving too slow but too fast at the same time. Why he sometimes can’t breathe, and sometimes can’t feel, or move, or talk, or live.

**_Hell-bent on self-destruction_ **

So when Richie meets Greta Keene behind the bleachers, and hands her a wad of cash and gets a little baggie in return, he tells himself it’s fine. Everyone tries drugs, why would he be any different?

**_Ride or die, brothers for life_ **

And when Bev and Bill break up, Richie’s there for them both, because Richie understands what it feels like to miss someone, but hate them at the same time.

**_Darkest days, coldest nights_ **

And Stan is there for Richie, no matter what. And Richie loves it, but can’t help wishing that he was in Eddie’s arms instead.

**_There ain’t no doctor on Earth_ **

And when the Losers graduate from high school and go to college, Richie stays. He stays in Derry just like he promised himself he never would. And when Mike forces him to get help, Richie says he’s fine. He’s fine. Everything is fine.

**_There ain’t no lord up above_ **

The Losers reunite after the first year of college, and Richie loves them. He loves them all, and he’s happy to see them again, but he wishes Eddie came back, too.

**_Who knows a strong enough medicine, or a lifesaving love_ **

And then, another year passes, and Richie hasn’t heard from anyone. He’s alone in a tiny apartment, filled with beer and wine and weed and pills. Filled with everything he needs.

**_Like I said, I thought I was focused, I thought I had it figured out_ **

And when Richie overdoses for the first time, whether it was an accident or not, who knows, he hopes that maybe, just maybe, Eddie will come visit. Maybe because now, Richie’s in the hospital, and they’re not letting him leave.

**_How to organize my words good, before they fall right out my mouth_ **

But Eddie never comes. Mike visits, once, to make sure he’s okay, but Richie won’t talk to him. Mike is the only one who hasn’t left, and Richie never wants that to change.

**_But I have learned that the direction I was walking was so wrong_ **

Richie tries to get better. He really, really tries. But what’s the point? He knows it’s bad, unhealthy, dangerous. But what does he have to lose?

**_And I just need a little help here, man, to find the path I should be on_ **

And then, one day, Richie hears a knock at his door. 

**_Love of my life, gone forever_ **

And Richie doesn’t open the door, he doesn’t answer the pleading knock. He’s busy rolling up a joint, busy trying to forget the world.

**_Love of my life, gone for good_ **

But Eddie’s standing there, right outside Richie’s door. He’s standing there and he’ waiting. 

**_Love of my life, gone forever_ **

Mike had called Eddie, after Richie had been sent to rehab and then sent back home for the third time. Eddie had come as soon as he could, wondering what Derry’s resident trashmouth looked like now.

**_Get her back, good lord you know I wish I could_ **

But he was too far gone, the once carefree boy turned into a damaged man. And Eddie tried and tried and tried again.

**Author's Note:**

> Im sorry I couldn't find a way to put Ben in there.  
> leave a kudos pls if you like it, if you have any suggestions comment, im always trying to find ways to improve my writing


End file.
